WALDROP: ‘Square One’ is where you are

Russ Waldrop
Published: July 17, 2008

This is the story’s conclusion.
This young man is about to awaken to a most spiritual experience. Not that it looks spiritual or even sounds like it. It doesn’t. For that, we must put some sort of spin on it. That is unfortunate because some spiritual experiences neither sound nor look religious or spiritual. Just read the Old Testament book of Esther in which the word “God” does not appear. Is it any less spiritual for that? Hardly. But wait. Our young man is awake now and looking around. Let’s observe, shall we?
He usually has a hangover this early in the morning, but his money ran out the other day. He can’t even buy food now. Yesterday, he got caught eating what he feeds the livestock. His boss kindly gave him a warning, but no food. He feels too guilty and too far from home to walk back there and too proud to want to. There had been a terrible argument with his father; moreover, his older brother was watching, possibly gloating, when he left with the money, “my fair share” he had called it.
Who is this young man? He is the famous younger brother in Jesus’ Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-31), hot headed, stubborn, and very little impulse control. Certainly the sort of person books and movies turn into heroes and heroines. Are any prodigal daughters reading this?
So, what spiritual experience is he having? Jesus says that he “came to his senses” (NIV/TEV); or, that he “came to himself” (KJV/RSV). Though we might prefer it to say that “God appeared to him,” or that “he repented of his sins,” or “heard a voice,” or “saw a vision,” it just doesn’t say anything like that. We must accept this young man’s “Square One” as his overnight encounter with himself, which he found sadly inadequate. His journey home begins there.
An important distinction must be made about that. He does not go home in order to find himself. That would be too much backtracking. Finding “Square One” should not be a matter of time travel, or internal archaeology, or external geography; otherwise, we couldn’t find it until we regress to our first offenses, even childhood. That is impossible for several reasons: the relevant people may have moved away or died; they may have different memories of what happened; they may even be unforgiving of us; or, they may have forgiven us or forgotten about it years ago. Square One must be found where we are.
This young man goes home because he has suddenly found Square One, not in order to find it. With his pride and rebelliousness, how can it possibly be otherwise?
Of course, there will be “unfinished business” with relevant people who can be found and with events properly remembered. He knows this though and, in fact, begins it shortly after leaving the pig’s sty for home. We even know how. Those “senses” to which he finally came are not perfect, but they are working. Read over the “spontaneous” speech he memorizes for Dad, like adolescents still do when they come home at two in the morning instead of 10:30 the previous night (vv. 18-20).
More importantly, note that Dad interrupts his speech before he finishes it as though he didn’t care about it (compare with v. 21-22). Why would he?
Then again, he must eventually account to his irksome older brother (vv. 25-30). But not now. First, there’s a party to attend that is thrown for anyone who finds Square One.
Have you been to yours yet?
The Rev. Russell G. Waldrop, D. Min., LPC, is a pastoral counselor and is chaplain of Western State Hospital. Contact him at 540-332-8004 or email him at .